IF I FOCUS ON MONEY I'LL BE BAD
How can it be wrong to focus on something that is absoutely necessary to life (whether we like it or not)?
In lots of us, some of the most negative opinions about money are right there on the surface, because they’re so widely-accepted that we don’t even notice how toxic they are.
This is often reinforced by characters in the media and fiction, but the fundamental idea often gets its grip when we’re young, particularly if it’s a belief held by one of our significant childhood caregivers.
Gill, 56, was in $374,000 worth of debt.
She let problems pile up around her, and refused to open bills when they came.
She told me that her father, John, had left her mother when she was pregnant, and that she’d grown up knowing she was absolutely loved by her mother, who she watched struggle for money every single day.
John had wanted to be rich, and had gone off determined to ‘make his fortune’ and never came back.
With a few questions, we quickly established that Gill’s young mind had decided a few things based on this experience: If I focus on money (like my father) I will be a bad person (like my father). And just to hammer it home: If I struggle with money every single day, I will be capable of absolute love, just like my mother.
As you can imagine, Gill was pretty damn stressed out.
She was caught between multiple rocks and hard places, which is just how the subsconscious mind keeps us stuck:
Seeing the debt was stressful – but taking action to sort it out would mean ‘being like dad’.
Not opening the bills was making her anxious – but opening them would make her ‘like dad’.
Not having enough money was awful – but having enough would mean she wasn’t capable of loving ‘like mum’.
Gill’s subconscious had twisted the concepts of love and money into a sticky web that she couldn’t see how to escape from – because every exit had a big ‘GO THIS WAY AND YOU’LL BE AN EVIL KNOB-HEAD’ sign flashing over it.
Could there be something similar keeping you stuck?
The idea that focusing on money is bad is often reinforced by characters in the media and fiction, but the concept often gets its grip when we’re very young, particularly if it’s a belief held by one of our significant childhood caregivers.
If you’re hunting money blocks this is a brilliant place to look, so here are some questions to get you started:
Do you have an absent family member who ‘chose money’?
How do your other relatives speak about this person?
As a kid did you hear loved ones judge someone else for being focused on money?
Or was there someone wealthy who was also ‘bad’ and you did the maths yourself?
How do you behave in order to avoid being like them?
Ooooh that’s some juicy stuff isn’t it?
Think, talk, write… It’s up to you. Just dig in – and let me know if you find something interesting!