There’s no such thing as a spinster.

It’s a made-up concept designed to insult women and reduce their status.

It’s a construct of the patriarchy, a way of labelling women who are not attached to a man.

It’s a way of keeping women in fear, making them less than, and encouraging them to submit to a relationship at the expense of their own happiness.

It’s a hangover from centuries of women being treated like commodities.

And yet despite all of that, spinster shaming is real. 

There is a perception that there is something fundamentally wrong with a woman who is single. Have you ever opened a magazine to find the year’s most eligible spinsters?

The word bachelor elicits a sense of the desirable; a coveted status.

The word spinster – harsh, bitter, and evoking a sense of something tragic and lonely.

It’s ‘ok’ to be young and single, but as a woman dares to get older, there’s an assumed desperation or defect; she must want to be set up with a man – she must be ‘hunting’ for a mate. 

And if she isn’t on the prowl then she must be a fierce feminist who thinks men are unnecessary; or she’s simply too fussy for her own good.

All little boxes that help the media and men to explain and examine the ‘single female’ – as if they were a species.

Yet someone’s marital status tells you almost nothing about them. It doesn’t describe their personality, their hopes and dreams, their talents and skills, their senses of humour and adventure. 

The problem is that stigma sticks like glue. The idea of the ‘mad cat lady’ and all that it represents is welded into our culture, our conversation, and our conscience. 

And from there, it permeates everything.

In kinesiology, when working with addiction, one of the first things to do is release the stress around the idea that there is a problem.

When we feel a loving self-acceptance of ourselves, regardless of status, or being ‘wrong’ in some way, we create a steady platform on which to build our future; rather than the unstable foundations of fear, self-loathing, and discontent. 

It’s exactly the same when working with love. 

We release the idea that there’s a problem with being single, and we clear it from the deepest subconscious layers of the self. 

As you know, thoughts become things.

Every thought, belief and action sends out a request to attract more of the same.

When you’re programmed with the idea that you're defective in some way, life reflects it back to you.

I’m here to tell that there’s nothing wrong with you.

I’d like to help you know the truth of that, at the very core of who you are, so your thoughts, desires and actions emanate from a place of self-acceptance, self-love, and self-honour.

Then life can reflect that back to you instead.

If you accept yourself and your ‘flaws’, so will others.

If you love yourself and your desires, so will others.

If you honour yourself and your choices, so will others.

It all begins with you. 

You’re not jinxed. You’re not incapable. You’re not broken. You’re not old. 

You’re lovely, kind, wise and beautiful.

You’re you. And you are wonderful.

All my love,

Michelle xxx

Michelle Lowbridge