Doubting your expertise?

"I feel wrong selling my services because I still have challenges in my area of expertise."

I often hear this from the women I support. Or:

"I feel out of integrity, because I haven't got it all figured out."

"I help others with this, but I feel like a fraud because I struggle with it myself."

"I'm holding back from marketing, because I'm not perfect."

Here's why this happens:

We struggle with the stuff we teach because we teach it. Overcoming issues and finding solutions is how we improve our expertise!

If I'd cleared my first set of money blocks and immediately become a billionaire, I wouldn't have the deep understanding of money mindset that I have now — and I'm still learning. Stuff comes up, I figure it out, it comes up with clients and I help them. Maybe I write, teach, or speak about it.

If you coach on happiness, parenting, marketing, making bread, anxiety, confidence, painting, or (insert ANYTHING here)… you will experience challenges in that field! It's how you deepen your understanding, practise your techniques, and become deeply empathic to your clients' issues. It doesn't mean you're out of integrity. The bumps in the road don't mean you're not qualified. They're chances to improve your navigation skills.

One lady shared with me what had really knocked her confidence:

"A woman I respect told me that I wasn't making money because I wasn't living what I teach 100%, and until I am I won't make money."

My reply: "Well that's absolute bollocks."

The relief (and slight shock) on her face was a picture. I continued: "Of course you haven't got it all figured out. None of us have. We're just on a path, doing our best, and sharing what we do know with people who can benefit from hearing it in our unique way."

Otherwise it's like expecting a parenting expert to never feel stressed out by their kids. Or a writer to never misspell a word. Or thinking Nigella isn't a cook because sometimes she buys a packet of Hobnobs.

If we had to be perfect before we could teach, there'd be no fecking teachers! Teaching anything – EVER!

I'm a boxing fan, so here are some fun facts for you: Muhammed Ali's coach was never a boxer. Neither was Mike Tyson's. Imagine if they'd 'questioned their integrity' and decided they weren't qualified.

Scientific studies show women are more likely than men to doubt their qualifications or question their right to hold a position, and far less likely to have confidence in themselves and their work. We self-doubt, self-shame, and are less likely to ask for a payrise.

Does your work fascinate you? Do you like helping people? Do you like helping people in areas that fascinate you?

Marvellous. Do that.

Don't stop because behind closed doors you're still figuring out some pieces of the puzzle. Being the person willing to figure it out is part of what qualifies you! And only you can do it the way you do it.

With kindness,

Michelle xx